The Meadow Branching Out of Toronto is where my heart lies. It’s where my heart cries over the idea of lacking success in life, but it knows well that I will be safe in my meadow if I take good care of it.

BY KRISTEN SHELEPINSKY

IMAGE BY JASMINE COWAN

I look down to the ground, noticing how relaxed my feet are in the muddy earth. Being almost 20 doesn’t change my love for grass stains on my jeans or having yellow stains on my hands from brewing a golden chamomile tea. Gently mixing the tea, the golden rays surface in the form of rings and extend outward to meet the edges of the cup, like the light rays of the sun extending to touch the sides of the earth. It’s a gorgeous summer day, and the warm wind welcomes me in its embrace. In this meadow, my chocolate-brown hair melts in the golden-orange rays of the sun as I twirl and twirl, taking in the scenery, dancing with the tall grass, and having lots of fun. 

*

Sometimes, I wish I could be a Disney Princess in a meadow full of animal friends. The meadow would be my own open space where birds would sing Animal Crossing tunes, and I could witness nature’s beautiful treasures. Animals are incredible; it’s no wonder people have learned a lot from them, like when studying birds in the early stages of aviation—so don’t miss out on nature’s wisdom and get your own meadow today! Yet, I would need to speak to the animals in their own voices—I’m sure others have also “woofed” back to their dogs, “meowed” back to their cats, and “grrr’d” into the face of a hungry bear. Gosh, those pandas at the Toronto Zoo were so cute! 

Anyway, I’m getting off-topic now, and I apologize for that. Let me introduce myself: my name’s Hailey, a nineteen-year-old from Toronto, Canada. If you’re new here, there are some serious city vibes about Toronto that you need to know about. Torontonians are hard workers. I mean, really hard workers. People come to Canada for the opportunities and, with Toronto as a leading city in computer science and business, many people live here to advance their careers in these fields. My friend even told me to set my ambitions on computer science, saying: 

“Businesses are looking for females to join the computer science industry. If you’re looking to have yourself set for life with a stable paycheque, you should totally check it out.” 

As much as I can appreciate the role of a “computer person” safeguarding me from the acts of deviance that come from the internet, I would rather spend my time here—writing in this meadow, hidden away in the heart of Toronto. 

*

Reaching out to the sky are the trees, and they look toward the sun to secure their dreams. Travelling clouds blow through that same sky. They take after the forms that allow them to marvel in the blue, courtesy of our imagination. Now, I extend a hand full of peaches toward the ground. Their fuzzy touch gives me the delight of having rosy-red cheeks. Then, a glint of sadness strikes my face. I don’t wish to be a woman of masterful ambition, where my life is set. I do wish to work hard, perform in my art, and feel free. I sigh, giving the dirt a soft pat. From my sadness, I sow a seed in the ground, and it promises me: 

“One day, I shall turn into a beautiful flower. Whenever you cry, Hailey, your lost tears will help me find a way to blossom. You will end up believing in growth.” 

This flower provides me with comfort. For sure, a flower is fragile compared to the grass that has become stronger so that we may step on it, but the tenderness of a flower is what inspires me. It reminds me of the delicacy of our aspirations and how we must nurture them carefully. 

To protect the flowers, I recommend pulling out any weeds. Don’t blow on dandelions if you think that would grant you multiple wishes—it only means you are more likely to run into a spiky weed (not fun). There is no place for dandelions in my meadow, as the dandelions will surely take over. Although they have healing properties like fighting infection, if you apply them to a wound, there is no need to make new wounds and heal them with the same plant because you choose to leave the meadow coloured yellow. Personally, I’d plant daisies. They seem pretty cool for the fact that people once believed daisies could cure insanity; unfortunately, they didn’t cure Henry VIII’s madness, but it was one of the healthier things he ate to help with his chronic stomach pain. I almost forgot to mention the iconic game of “loves me, loves me not.” It’s a depressing practice as Victorian maids (who are clearly heartbroken) wish to win over the affection of their suitors again. Nevertheless, I find it beautiful how nature has a lot of history, healing properties, and spiritual ties that have existed much longer than most of us living today. 

*

Back in Toronto are the human-made skyscrapers that also wish to touch the skies. Inside the tall corporate buildings are those who wish to reach their dream of a secure life, yet living that corporate life is not as fun as watching The Office. It’s not as lovely to hear “We are downsizing” from your company as it would be from Michael Scott—in fact, it downright sucks! I don’t need to provide much evidence to prove my point aside from a loyal worker’s statement: “Paper after paper, coffee and more coffee … with a side of eye bags.” Coffee (the diluted kind) is actually good for certain plants but not at the rate that hard workers consume it. The workers in a corporate building try to earn a promotion by overgrowing their list of achievements, forgetting the stability of their roots. To me, it all seems like a game of Jenga because the roots are nonexistent in achieving a steady promotion. The boss meticulously picks at the workers’ comfort zones, removing one block at a time and expecting the impossible: to uphold the backbone of the company when the building blocks are no longer there. 

It’s more maddening than Henry VIII’s diet of roasted pig, roasted peacock, whale meat, and daisies—all gobbled down in one meal. Neither of these ideas provides a true sense of security. The loyal worker tries to secure their happiness in a vision of green, yet they may see green out of envy instead. On the other hand, Henry VIII exercised his powers by indulging in any fine foods that would enter his kingdom. The by-product of all this is: establishing control in your life yet living in fear of losing it all. 

The Meadow Branching Out of Toronto is where my heart lies. It’s where my heart cries over the idea of lacking success in life, but it knows well that I will be safe in my meadow if I take good care of it. There are many young trees here, grafted to uphold and bear a multitude of beautiful, precious fruits. Each fruit, with careful nurture, will blossom flowers—a true symbol of my individual successes as I redeem my qualities with self-acknowledgement and love. With care, I pick out a daisy; the pearly colour of the petals tempts my hand to reach out. Touching the petal, my mind starts to conjure reasons for why I love myself. In my meadow, I will always find luck on the last petal of a daisy. I won’t run into spiky weeds because I find myself pursuing what matters most to me. This beautiful meadow will always be my home. Here in my heart, in Toronto, Canada. 

Kristen Shelepinsky is a student in the Professional & Creative Writing bachelor degree program at Humber College. Kristen is passionately writing and working towards becoming a New York Times best-selling author; this is her first published work.

Image: Jack Pine Study (Jasmine Cowan, 2022)

Edited for publication by Zainub Syeda, as part of the Creative Book Publishing program.

HLR Spotlight is a collaboration between the Faculty of Media & Creative Arts and the Faculty of Liberal Arts & Sciences and Innovative Learning at Humber College in Toronto, Ontario. This project is funded by Humber’s Office of Research & Innovation.